First virtual SPIN ever supported by Carnegie Mellon Software Engineering Inst

Good Jokes and Quotes

A duck walks into a drug store and asks for a tube of chapstick. The pharmacist says, "That will be $1.49". The duck says, "Put it on my bill"

Permalink Reply by Eileen Bonfiglio on February 10, 2008 at 2:04pm: I like this idea :) Any quotes from some of the business leaders of the Software engineering or Process improvement world in your files Suleman?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suleman on February 13, 2008 at 12:04am: "Exploratory testing can be described as a martial art of the mind. It's how you deal with a product that jumps out from the bushes and challenges you to a duel of testing. Well, you don't become a black belt by reading books. You have to work on it. Happy practising." (James Bach)

"The only person who likes change is a wet baby." (Carr, Hard, Trahant: "Change Process")

"The ultimate management sin is wasting people's time." (Lister, DeMarco: "Peopleware"); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Adeel Ansari on March 10, 2008 at 12:17am: Once I received a series of "If at first you don't succeed...", I just extracted out few from it.

If at first you don't succeed,
- look in the trash for the instructions.
- try a shorter bungee.
- redefine success.
- skydiving is not for you.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suleman on February 10, 2008 at 4:46pm: Yes, this is an excellent idea Eileen
"Quality means doing it right when no one is looking". Henry Ford.
"Companies that downsize are frankly admitting that their upper management has blown it." (Lister, DeMarco: "Peopleware"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Eileen Bonfiglio on February 12, 2008 at 5:26pm: Awesome! Thanks Suleman :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Julian Edward Frost on February 21, 2008 at 1:26pm: My favourite quote about quality I saw on a cubicle magnet.
"Of course I don't look busy - I did it right the first time"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suleman on February 22, 2008 at 2:25am: yes, excellent; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suleman on February 22, 2008 at 2:28am: Testing software is like wrestling with a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suleman on February 24, 2008 at 5:50pm: Stock Market Report (This is a joke, not real report):
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cattle futures steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola and Pepsi both fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suleman on April 23, 2008 at 9:28pm: Walking in from a crowded waiting room, a nurse says to the Doctor, "The invisible man is here for an appointment." THe Doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dave Stringer on April 25, 2008 at 2:01am: There are only two times when a man understands a woman, before they meet and after he dies, because when God made men She was only joking.

The nun who is the Pope's secretary asks him one day if tere will ever be a time when Christianity is joined together again under the Holy Roman Church. The Pope replies, "not in our lifetimes sister, but maybe in our childrens'".; ▶ Reply to This